Aka Getting my Money's Worth from my Bus Ticket
This morning at the hospital, I finally after five long months of waiting, had my Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) appointment. It isn't Meniere's! Well, the consultant doesn't think it is Meniere's. She had a look at my history and symptoms and all that was going on and because my audiogram is showing hearing levels of normal, (the same result as the November audiogram) then it doesn't correlate to what Meniere's should look like. Thing is, we do not know what is actually going on. I'm to keep taking Serc (betahistine dihydrochloride) and see how it goes over the next six months - it may settle and go away, or it may not. To be honest, the number of attacks/episodes that I've had has seemed to decrease but my ear does seem to twitch, ache and do a weird hollow sounding thing from time to time (which might be Patulous Eustachian Tube, how fancy). Dizziness I still get most days but this can be triggered depending on my position - I notice that it happens in the way my head is bent and I also felt pretty weird on the train when we stopped but it still felt like we were moving, even when I was looking at the platform.
I'm also booked in for an MRI scan - they're going to check and see if there is anything physically wrong with my ear so I get to lie in a noisy tube for half an hour. Last time I had one done it was on my foot. I remember the nurses being super nice and fluffing my pillows and I got to listen to the Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show through the headphones. Here's hoping I get to go in at 6pm on a Saturday again. Stuart Maconie's Freakzone (also on 6Music) probably won't be the most soothing thing to listen to in a confined space.
My second appointment today was for my first Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) session. The lady was really helpful and has given me a worry diary to work through. I had to take the same questionnaire that I did on my phone assessment and whilst my depression score has gone from an eight to a four, my anxiety is still at 15 out of 21. Despite all the health stuff I've had going on, it turns out that I am apparently quite stressed and anxious with non health-related things. Prime example of this was last night when we went to Plymouth Pavilions to see Bill Bailey - I checked the route from the station the week before we went, during the day, on the train, and then when we got there. When we tried to go in we didn't realise that we couldn't take rucksacks in to the venue and I went in to full on panic mode thinking we wouldn't be able to see the show. Instead of trying to find a rational solution my immediate reaction was worst case scenario: I wouldn't be able to tell my sister what a great show we saw and thank her for the tickets, and I £20 spent on getting the train to Plymouth and ended up with nothing to show for it. Thankfully the security guard at Plymouth Pavilions said that we could leave them with the pub over the road. We went there and they said they wouldn't take them as they would likely be shut when the show was over. Cue me being jittery, drinking my half pint at speed, and going to the loo more times than was needed. Thankfully, praise be, the hotel next door took them for us. Rob was incredibly calm through all of this (he is the level-headed collected one in these situations) and suggested that he could just head home or wait for me while the show was on. Not the most ideal situation but hey, a solution my panicked mind didn't even consider - I just went to the worst case scenario in my head and let it sit there. In the end, we both got to see the show. It was bloody hilarious and I have not laughed that much for a very long time. Bill Bailey singing Old Macdonald Had A Farm in the style of Tom Waits is something to behold. As was not being let in to South Africa because of the potential to weaponize a Toblerone. All of it was something to behold. If you see it on DVD/the telly/internet place of your choice, I highly recommend you check Larks In Transit out.
Anyhow, anxiety - not just for health, it's for everything. My clinician, also known as a supporter, has given me exercises to work on when I'm worrying, and I'm to log down each worry as it comes to me. I'm going to have to start carrying a notebook at work with me so I can jot them down, and we're going to work through everything slowly so I can better manage my stresses and anxieties. I've got six half hour sessions coming up but as she says I am highly stressed and anxious, she's already considering moving me up into Intensive CBT (5 months wait) something with a complex acronym I can't remember (another 5 month wait but it is a brand new thing they are starting) or a Stress Management type group (less of a waiting time but she's going to go to it first and see if it is suitable).
All in all a day with a few negatives (I drowned my sorrows by eating an entire loaf of sourdough with hummus...dear god I've become a middle class hipster) and a few positives. Hopefully this next six months will go quickly. Timescales so far are CBT next week, an MRI at some point, dermatology in September-ish, follow up ENT (if MRI is clear) in November. Love having day trips out to the hospital. Fun fun. Also I'm going bouldering again tomorrow so that's a win. Onwards and upwards (as long as I don't fall off the wall).
This morning at the hospital, I finally after five long months of waiting, had my Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) appointment. It isn't Meniere's! Well, the consultant doesn't think it is Meniere's. She had a look at my history and symptoms and all that was going on and because my audiogram is showing hearing levels of normal, (the same result as the November audiogram) then it doesn't correlate to what Meniere's should look like. Thing is, we do not know what is actually going on. I'm to keep taking Serc (betahistine dihydrochloride) and see how it goes over the next six months - it may settle and go away, or it may not. To be honest, the number of attacks/episodes that I've had has seemed to decrease but my ear does seem to twitch, ache and do a weird hollow sounding thing from time to time (which might be Patulous Eustachian Tube, how fancy). Dizziness I still get most days but this can be triggered depending on my position - I notice that it happens in the way my head is bent and I also felt pretty weird on the train when we stopped but it still felt like we were moving, even when I was looking at the platform.
I'm also booked in for an MRI scan - they're going to check and see if there is anything physically wrong with my ear so I get to lie in a noisy tube for half an hour. Last time I had one done it was on my foot. I remember the nurses being super nice and fluffing my pillows and I got to listen to the Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show through the headphones. Here's hoping I get to go in at 6pm on a Saturday again. Stuart Maconie's Freakzone (also on 6Music) probably won't be the most soothing thing to listen to in a confined space.
My second appointment today was for my first Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) session. The lady was really helpful and has given me a worry diary to work through. I had to take the same questionnaire that I did on my phone assessment and whilst my depression score has gone from an eight to a four, my anxiety is still at 15 out of 21. Despite all the health stuff I've had going on, it turns out that I am apparently quite stressed and anxious with non health-related things. Prime example of this was last night when we went to Plymouth Pavilions to see Bill Bailey - I checked the route from the station the week before we went, during the day, on the train, and then when we got there. When we tried to go in we didn't realise that we couldn't take rucksacks in to the venue and I went in to full on panic mode thinking we wouldn't be able to see the show. Instead of trying to find a rational solution my immediate reaction was worst case scenario: I wouldn't be able to tell my sister what a great show we saw and thank her for the tickets, and I £20 spent on getting the train to Plymouth and ended up with nothing to show for it. Thankfully the security guard at Plymouth Pavilions said that we could leave them with the pub over the road. We went there and they said they wouldn't take them as they would likely be shut when the show was over. Cue me being jittery, drinking my half pint at speed, and going to the loo more times than was needed. Thankfully, praise be, the hotel next door took them for us. Rob was incredibly calm through all of this (he is the level-headed collected one in these situations) and suggested that he could just head home or wait for me while the show was on. Not the most ideal situation but hey, a solution my panicked mind didn't even consider - I just went to the worst case scenario in my head and let it sit there. In the end, we both got to see the show. It was bloody hilarious and I have not laughed that much for a very long time. Bill Bailey singing Old Macdonald Had A Farm in the style of Tom Waits is something to behold. As was not being let in to South Africa because of the potential to weaponize a Toblerone. All of it was something to behold. If you see it on DVD/the telly/internet place of your choice, I highly recommend you check Larks In Transit out.
Anyhow, anxiety - not just for health, it's for everything. My clinician, also known as a supporter, has given me exercises to work on when I'm worrying, and I'm to log down each worry as it comes to me. I'm going to have to start carrying a notebook at work with me so I can jot them down, and we're going to work through everything slowly so I can better manage my stresses and anxieties. I've got six half hour sessions coming up but as she says I am highly stressed and anxious, she's already considering moving me up into Intensive CBT (5 months wait) something with a complex acronym I can't remember (another 5 month wait but it is a brand new thing they are starting) or a Stress Management type group (less of a waiting time but she's going to go to it first and see if it is suitable).
All in all a day with a few negatives (I drowned my sorrows by eating an entire loaf of sourdough with hummus...dear god I've become a middle class hipster) and a few positives. Hopefully this next six months will go quickly. Timescales so far are CBT next week, an MRI at some point, dermatology in September-ish, follow up ENT (if MRI is clear) in November. Love having day trips out to the hospital. Fun fun. Also I'm going bouldering again tomorrow so that's a win. Onwards and upwards (as long as I don't fall off the wall).
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