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Self Caring

Aka What I'm Doing to Get Better

As the first few posts have been about how I've ended up in a mental health mess, I figured now would be a good time to focus on the positives and show what I've been doing to get myself better. At least once a day I'll have sad potato time, but instead of that I'm trying to recognise that I shouldn't wallow in these emotions and get up and do something, no matter how hard that is. There are plenty of times where I want to do something, but I don't want to do something. I want to participate in an activity but instead the meh takes over and I end up on the sofa with a dark cloud over my head.

When I am sad potatoing on the sofa, I think the easiest thing to do is something small yet constructive - tidy the coffee table, empty the wastepaper basket. Something very low energy but still means that something has been achieved. Hell, sometimes I don't have the energy to get the washing out of the machine and hang it up to dry.  Another thing I discovered today was lists. I've been Googling self-care and where else would a millennial get their lists of self care tips but Buzzfeed? I found a tip there to make lists of things that you're grateful for and also of things to do that make you happy. It distracts my mind from thinking about sad/worrying/stressful things and instead focuses it on creating a list of positive things. The next one I'm going to make will probably be quotes I can look back at that make me feel good, from books and films and the like.

As mentioned in a previous post, staying still isn't my strong point. When I'm a ball of nervous energy, I tend to create things - I'm currently upcycling old dining room chairs and I finally finished a little chest of drawers today. I am incredibly impatient during the finishing stages, mainly because varnish takes 24 hours to dry before I can add the next coat. I've also done a spot of sewing  - I got myself a really soft cashmere cardigan in a sale for £1 which needed some holes patching at the elbows, and I got my husband a jumper there as well where a couple of seams needed stitching back together, so I spent an afternoon focused on a bit of needlework. I also enjoy drawing, so I usually sit listening to the radio, with a cup of tea and whatever piece I'm working on. It lets me zone out and concentrate on making something.

I did receive a self-care bonus round today - one of my absolutely wonderful friends sent me a little pampering care package in the post. I had a super long bath with some candles, water to near-scalding temperature, and a ton of bubbles. I used the hair mask that she'd included, and also made sure that I was super scrubbed and exfoliated, gave my face a proper wash, made sure I was well moisturised, and I also used the feet moisturising booties she posted to me as well. A bath might just be a tub of hot water, but I feel really good just taking some time to make sure that the physical me is well looked after even if the mental me still needs work.

Exercise is also something that's mentioned around self-care and mental health. I am not a gym bunny. I haven't been running in months and as I'd much prefer to eat biscuits than go for a jog, I have an app on my phone where I can do 10-15 minutes strength training each evening. (This is called Home Workout and is courtesy of another colleague who recommended it to me.) It's not much and it may not reap the same rewards as a full body gym session, but it's enough to make me feel as if I have done something - it's exercise for self-care, not results, so a few minutes each day is enough for that little 'yay I'm feeling strong' boost.

I know that this blog is incredibly all about me. I didn't want to make this post seem like I was inflating my ego too much, or make it seem as if I was going "look what I'm doing, aren't I great?" Instead, I wanted to focus on some more positive aspects of self care. Not being an expert, I don't feel as if I am in a position to write about all the things someone else could be doing. I thought if I showed what I'm doing, and what I find helps in my particular situation, then perhaps you could get an idea of how I cope. Or, if it helps you with some ideas for your situation, that's even better. It's not a cure for how I'm feeling - I don't just paint  a chair and then immediately feel at one with the universe. Or write a list and feel like I've reached nirvana. They are little coping strategies and mechanisms to help me distract my thoughts or work though issues. I don't think there is a magic big fix to get rid of everything, instead it's going to be a combination of a lot of little things. One small step at a time.


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